We all know how difficult it is to form new habits that don't just fade away after a few days or weeks. We've even compiled a list of apps that can make the process easier. Now let's put the list away for a second, take a step back, and talk about things you should know before jumping into the challenge of making new and healthy habits for yourself.
Keep it simple, keep it small.
Do you compile a long list of New Year's resolutions every year? Or a 'new chapter' list every spring of all the things you're done with and going to improve on? Now ask yourself, how often have you stuck to even one or two of the things on those lists, much less all of them?
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If you respond "not often", then you're like most people with average (or less than average) willpower. The fact of the matter is we need to give our brains time to form new habits. We need to get used to doing something every day before it'll stick with us, and the best way to do this is with one thing at a time, little by little.
So choose just one thing on your list to focus on. If it's a big thing, consider breaking it down for now. For example, if you want to start going to the gym every day, consider doing short follow-along videos that don't require equipment from home first.
Big changes don't usually happen overnight.
If you decide that you want to start waking up at 6am and meditating for half an hour every morning starting tomorrow, that's very admirable. You might think to yourself, 6:00 isn't that early, and half an hour isn't that long. And comparatively speaking, it isn't. But if normally you don't wake up before 8am and haven't meditated before, suddenly throwing yourself in the deep end like that can be very close to or way past impossible to maintain.
So ease into it. Don't be drastic about it.
Here's the better way to do it. If you want to wake up at 6am instead of at 8, do it in increments of 15 or 30 minutes. Set your alarm for 7:45 or 7:30 for a week or two (or more if necessary), then for 7:00, then 6:45 and so on. Work towards it bit by bit. As for the meditation, first focus on doing it every single day, then worry about duration. That's the real trick, which goes for any activity you'd like to start doing daily. Even if you just do something for a single minute, but you do it every single day, then you're on your way to forming that habit long-term. After a week of 1 minute, do another week of 5, and then another week of 10 and so on. Find increments that keep you interested but don't intimidate you at all.
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Wanting to change your life from one day to the next sounds exciting, and it sounds like commitment. But change takes a lot of time, and because of that it's also difficult to keep it going because you have to maintain your enthusiasm of smaller, less impactful actions. Yet that's what commitment actually looks like, and it's a lot more boring to behold: small and consistent steps towards a goal.
And finally...
Don't tell yourself you're going to do this forever. Instead start by affirming that you're going to do this for a week or a month.
Having hefty goals is important in life. They keep you motivated and moving forward. But they are also intimidating to start and keep going. So once again, break them down, at least in name. Instead of thinking, "I'm going to exercise/meditate/wake up early for the rest of my life," rather think, "I'm going to exercise/meditate/wake up early for a week."
Thinking like this makes your goals feel a lot more tangible and doable. 'For the rest of my life' sounds scary and difficult to achieve, especially once the enthusiasm of the initial proclamation to do something forever dies down. So take it a week or so at a time, and leave some space and patience for slip-ups.
Slip-ups are okay and even to be expected, so don't let them throw you into a negative spiral that leads you to give up. Be patient with yourself and your new habit, and keep trying again.
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